The world is falling apart. Unspeakable
crimes are taking place every second, every minute.
The very existence of
social institutions is in danger. Majority of world’s population is suffering
from one or more mental disorders. In these changing and challenging times, I think
we, mothers across the globe can contribute to a great extent by nurturing the
next generation of human beings with five future-proof values. Consider breastfeeding a profound
responsibility rather than a plain nutritional necessity.
As there are mothers who force-feed
their children, there are mothers who forcefully wean their babies. I know a
few mommie-friends who literally set a cut-off period for breastfeeding to six
or
at the max eleven months. They took their crying babies off breasts overnight
by applying ayurvedic medicine, bitter gourd juice and all possible weird
tasting foods on their nipples. They left their restless babies in their cribs
alone and unattended. Jacob Bronowski very rightly puts it, ‘Man masters nature
not by force, but by understanding’. My advice is to be calm and go slow. Enjoy
the invaluable benefits of breastfeeding while nature takes its own course.
Sense of Security (absence of fear): A renowned author, thought leader and mother of four
grown children Peggy O’Mara quotes, ‘It is the nature of the child to be
dependent and it is the nature of that dependence to be outgrown. Dependency
blossoms into independence in its own time’. The child longs for his mother’s
warmth to feel loved and protected. The feeling of fear/insecurity makes him
restless, sad and gradually grabs hold of his mental and physical well being.
Mother’s breasts have miraculous power to heal the child from any illness and anxiety.
‘Parents
should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby
permanently. It changes the nervous system so they're sensitive to future
trauma’. Says Dr. Michael Commons (Dept. of Psychiatry, Harvard). My advice is to always believe that we are laying a
future-proof foundation for our child through this simple act of breastfeeding.
Compassion:
Babies are very sensitive and demanding, and mother’s breasts are a stream of
unconditional love, trust and kindness. However, some fashionably soothing
devices such as pacifiers, bottles, gadgets and carrycots have increased
physical distance in the world of mother and baby. And not to forget social
pressure and unsolicited advice from well-meaning family and friends. With the
amazing gift of breastfeeding, we not only fulfill physical needs of the child
but we also respond to his inherent needs. Mother’s milk goes a long way in making
an emotionally-healthy individual. In Darwin's original writings, ‘survival of the fittest’ refers to those
individuals and societies who are the most sympathetic. A sympathetic culture
has the attributes necessary for survival. Nature itself is sympathetic. http://www.naturalchild.org/peggy_omara/their_hands.html
Spirituality:
Home is where the heart is and the heart is at the left side of the body,
exactly where mothers cradle their babies instinctively, to their left breast.
This is a very rhythm which the baby is naturally accustomed to because the
womb was his home and he had danced on the same beats for nine months. It is
called a spiritual way of breastfeeding when we become ONE with our baby. ‘We
are mass energy. Everything is energy.’ Writes Rhonda Byrne in The Secret. We are a channel of positive
and negative energy. Whatever we feel is felt by our babies as well. It calls
for ‘experiential learning’, to make sure that we have a calmer state of mind
and everything around us is uplifting and nourishing for our baby. #Tip: Listen
to relaxation music, chant mantras or hymns and eat mood-enhancing foods such
as Cottage Cheese, Brazil Nuts, Oatmeal, Spinach and other dark leafy greens,
Almonds, Dark Chocolate and Bananas. http://www.modernmom.com/55def6b6-48c3-11e3-87f1-bc764e04a41e.html.
Go out at the beach or in the park and
breastfeed your baby under the rising sun or amidst the multi-hued dusk.
Righteousness:
In this age of progression, the society and culture put pressure on us to rear
a perfectionist. There is no room for imperfections or bad habits. It seems
like a huge real-life challenge, isn’t it? Well, it is not. I think that there
is lot to observe and learn from life than just following orders or being
adamant about this or that habit. How about taking our children to visit
an
orphanage or an old age home? How about, with their small delicate hands,
letting them feed birds, animals and the needy? We are made of virtues-
justice, generosity, fidelity, self-care and prudence, which we can pass on
through breastfeeding, certainly. We can learn so much from reading our
children and teach them so much by letting them read us. Peggy O’Mara advises,
‘Don't stand unmoving outside the door of a crying
baby whose only desire is to touch you. Go to your baby.
Go to your baby a
million times. Demonstrate to your baby that people can be trusted, that the
environment can be trusted, that we live in a benign universe. The crisis of
the first year of life is trust or mistrust. Which will your baby learn?
The way we talk to our children, becomes their inner voice’.
Creativity:
Attachment, physical proximity, emotions and expressiveness altogether make the
world come alive. It is an experience deeply
cherished by the mommie-baby dyad. Creativity flourishes in space, not the
physical space but the one in which we set ourselves free from fear, negative
emotions, obsession, addiction and anything that holds us back. The same
applies to our kids as well. Let them be. Let them express themselves in the
most unique manner. Do not set preconceived notions for them. Breastfeeding is
the most creative process in the whole universe. It allows us to interact and
connect with our child in stillness. Research shows that breastfed babies have
higher IQs and they succeed in their endeavours. Well, IQ is only half the
picture. We must put efforts into cultivating the child’s emotional
intelligence. Robin Grille, an Australian psychologist and psychotherapist
states, ‘Under the right circumstances, breastfeeding floods the baby
with a blissful sense of wholeness and completeness. There is a stream of
pleasurable sensations which pulsate throughout her body when her powerful
sucking reflex is met with what she naturally longs for. A
repository of serenity and contentment is thus established deep within the
mind-body of the infant, available for access later
in life. If this unique mother-child bond is
provided according to the baby's need-cues rather than the robotic exigencies
of modern-day schedules, a dense layer of emotional security and contentment
is
installed, leading the child to think of the world as a friendly, nurturing and
abundant place’.
I am a mother of an eighteen-month old daughter. While she tastes a variety of solids, she does ask for her timely comfort feeds and I don’t deny her need to be at my breast to the fullest.
O, thou beautiful damsel, may the four
oceans
Of the earth contribute the secretion of
milk
In thy breasts for the purpose for
improving
The bodily strength of the child.
O, thou with the beautiful face, may the
child
Reared on your milk, attain a long life,
like
The gods made immortal with drinks of
nectar.
~SUSHRUTA
© Tapasya Bhatt
