I am afraid that we are getting (ab)used to...

Each paragraph in this article is like eating a bitter chocolate. All the facts and ideas in it, reflect agony. It is not a delusion but a situation which puts our future in danger. 

WE ARE GETTING ABUSED on every street, at every nook and corner, in the queue/seat of every public transport, under the desk of every corporate office, in the comfort of every home sweet home and at every mode of the so-called civilized India. We are getting abused in a variety of forms, by our own citizens, strangers, husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles and teachers, in the name of power, control, love, lust, rage and punishment.

In 2013, there were 309,546 recorded crimes against women out of which, 118,866 cases were of domestic violence, 70,739 cases of molestation, 51,881 of kidnapping, 33,707 of rapes and 34,353 other crimes. (Source: India’s National Crimes Records Bureau). About once every five minutes, an incident of domestic violence is reported in India, under its legal definition of "cruelty by husband or his relatives". http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-29708612. Last year, ninety-two women were raped on average, every day in India and the national capital with 1,636 registered cases. http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/india-rape-92-women-every-day-4-delhi-statistics/1/380956.html.

The 2012 ‘Nirbhaya’ rape case was so brutally etched in our memory and now in the beginning of 2015, we get to see yet another horrifying rape and murder of a mentally ill Nepalese woman in Haryana. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-31282673. Where is the nation heading with its head held so high that it can’t see the anguish of a woman’s life? Why are the wolves out on bail, celebrating their social life? Haah, some of them are not even arrested. We casually go about our daily activities, have a blast on birthdays, anniversaries and festivals. We don’t put our heart and mind in anything we read in the newspaper. News on TV still affects us because they show high-on-impact visuals of the event/incident. So what? We change the channel. The Brahmakumari Sisters say, why should we see, watch or read news which make us angry? Their intention is genuine but then we can’t sit and gobble a packet of popcorn while our fellow citizen is getting abused! Or I am afraid that we are getting used to the abuses, the abusers and such news.

I was engaged to one such guy for nearly three years in my mid twenties. He used to ill-treat me in private and publicly. He used to frighten me by committing fake suicide and laugh at my traumatized face. I was dragging, testing the level of my tolerance and one day I broke all the barriers and freed myself. My very close friend took months to speak up about her abusive husband and in-laws. She had kind of developed a survival (according to her) strategy inside her bruised body and mind. She had busied herself in the kitchen, making master chef dishes to please those maniacs. Finally, she opened up with her parents about the behind-closed-doors situation and they stood by her side at the

moment of divorce. Kelly is a domestic violence survivor serving her 19^th year in prison for a crime committed by her abusive husband. Kelly’s trial and conviction rested on the prosecution exploiting myths and misconceptions of survivors of abuse. Even Kelly’s own defense attorney told the jury that she was negligent for not leaving her abusive husband, a damaging, manipulative and inaccurate argument that hurt her case. https://www.change.org/p/kamala-harris-free-kelly-domestic-violence-survivor-serving-her-19th-year-in-prison-for-a-crime-committed-by-her-abusive-husband.

You will be shocked to know the myths of domestic violence- that victims like to be beaten, that they have psychological disorders, that the victims never leave their abusers, or if they do, they get involved in other abusive relationships and that the perpetrators of domestic violence abuse their partners because they are distressed or unemployed and the list continues. http://www.thewomenscenter.org/content.asp?contentid=537. Whatever the myth or the reason is, the fact remains that abusers are worse than animals- bloodthirsty, hungry and soulless. Why and how are we getting used to this hard-hitting fact? Maybe in a connected society, we live unconnected protecting our individual surroundings, keeping even the victims out of reach so that we don’t get affected and our bright world doesn’t get eclipsed by their dark life. We hit a million likes on Facebook and retweet on Twitter, we protest outside the parliament, we carry out candle marches but then we go home, watch Big Boss and doze off. Then the next rape happens, then the next body comes for post-mortem and then nobody hears her screams in the noise of loudspeaker.

A poet writes verses on a woman’s life. An artist portrays her melancholy on his canvas, an advertising agency builds an entire campaign around her, a politician promises to provide best possible safety and security and then she becomes a central character in a ninety-minute film. We continue to spread awareness and express ‘need of the hour’ through myriad ways. And for some, she remains the most entertaining and artistic subject across all mediums.

This year during the 57th Grammy Awards, the US President Barack Obama made a video appearance through which he asked the artists to urge their fans to join the government's 'It's On Us' campaign. http://mic.com/articles/110126/president-obama-made-a-surprise-appearance-at-the-grammys-with-a-video-you-need-to-see. He said, "It's on us, all of us, to create a culture where violence isn't tolerated, where survivors are supported and where all our young people - men and women - can go as far as their talents and their dreams will take them." The time has come that we take charge of our lives, let us not get used to. Let us set an example. I have taken a pledge to not be a bystander but to stop sexual assault. You can take yours at http://itsonus.org/#top

At last, we have witnessed the most theatrical, kind of revolutionary 2015 Assembly Election in India. It was a masala blockbuster full of drama, action, thriller and humour and of course, we were very happy with the box office results. Congratulations to the winning party AAP- The Aam Aadmi Party. We still cannot decide who the deserving candidate was or is but we are quite certain to give and take THE CHANCE to make INDIA A SAFE NATION FOR WOMEN & GIRLS.

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-     -Tapasya